I’m sure a lot of people reading this blog have at some point in their life been affected by mental illness. Whether that be yourself or someone you know.

Sometimes it can feel like you don’t know what to say, how to help or what to do. I know that even when I approach someone else going through the same thing, I can find it difficult to know what to say.

That said, you don’t have to be a therapist or a master of advice to help.

I have compiled a list of 5 things I think could help anyone supporting someone having a rough time or opening up to you about their mental illness.

Obviously this is not an exhaustive list and if people are interested I may look at making a guide for email subscribers, let me know!

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1. Hold them accountable for their behaviour

Now I’m not saying call them out when they are trying to cope with their situation in a positive way. Not at all.
But…
If you are helping someone it is important to set boundaries and let them know what behaviours are unacceptable or dangerous.
For example, abuse behaviour or language targeted at you should not be tolerated. Having a mental illness does not give you a free pass to treat people poorly. Ensuring that they are accountable for their behaviour protects the well being of both of you.

2. Don’t judge

Now this may sound contradictory to what I have just said. However, there is a big difference between judging someone and holding them accountable for their actions/words.
If your friend, family member, colleague approached you and confides in you about an issue you they having, the last thing they need is “don’t be silly” or “it’s just a crowd of people.” Understand what they are saying and keep an open-mind.

3. Research

There’s never any harm in doing a bit of research.
Mental health issues are often more complex than what the media shows e.g. depression is not sadness and Agoraphobia is not being scared of open spaces.
A bit of research can help both of you create a more supportive and trusting relationship.
A little understanding goes a long way.

4. Listen

This ties in with what I have said before. If someone opens up to you, it doesn’t matter if you have experienced something similar, have a degree in psychology or have your own thoughts about the topic.
Stop.
There’s nothing worse than trying to explain what you are going through to have someone else interject with “faux professional advice” or brushing off what you are saying.
Just listen.
Hear what they have to say, ask any questions you have, just give them space to talk. Everyone’s experience is different and while advice is fine, wait for them to ask.

5. Take care of yourself

This to me is the most important thing.
Helping someone is not easy, it can be difficult and stressful. Make sure you look after yourself mentally and physically and give yourself space if you need to.
Remember, you can’t help someone if you aren’t looking after yourself.