Tag: symptoms of depression

It’s not my fault I treated you like that, I have depression

Al3 Comments

This is something I have been meaning to write about for a while. I feel some people might not agree, but it’s something more people need to understand.

Mental illness is still being stigmatised. Some disorders are misunderstood, others aren’t taken seriously and undermined. Many organisations are yet to put into practice a solid structure and policies to help those with illnesses thrive. We spend so much time raising awareness to others outside the community, we sometimes miss the important issues within.

Some people are using the idea of supporting those with mental illness to their advantage by using it to excuse toxic and abusive behaviours by blaming their diagnoses.

I’m ashamed to admit that before I got help, I was an arsehole and blamed all my anger and toxic behaviour on what I was going through. It wasn’t until I stopped for a minute to evaluate my life, did I realise that I needed to change.

So I’m just going to come out and say it. Mental illness is not a free pass to be cruel or toxic. No matter what your diagnosis, if you are repeatedly negative towards those trying to support you, you need to have a serious look at your actions.

Before I go into what kind of actions I am talking about, I would first like to say that I am not talking about involuntary symptoms. I am explicitly talking about behavioural choices made that negatively impact those around us.

Types of behaviours used to project or misdirect anger/frustration, manipulate people and abuse others are choices.

If you repeatedly say cruel things to others when you are angry or stressed, this isn’t okay.

If you threaten to break up with your partner when you aren’t getting your own way, this isn’t okay.

If someone confronts you about your behaviour and you play the victim, blaming your mental illness and placing guilt tripping them, this isn’t okay.

These behaviours can be changed and must be addressed, because it is not fair to those trying to support you.

If you find yourself constantly hurting people with the things you say or do, it’s important that you reach out for help to tackle this.

If you know you are repeating this pattern of behaviour and someone approaches you about it, don’t immediately call them out for attacking you or bullying. Take some time and reflect on what they have said, is this the case?

In brushing people off and taking no responsibility will ultimately push them away and you’ll find yourself alone.

5 Little Signs Of Depression

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Now I want to make this very clear. This is not a diagnosis. There are many other things these symptoms could indicate. If you are worried about any changes you have noticed or feel something is not quite right, please speak to a GP.

I want to make a blog post around this topic as depression is often spoken about as sadness and not getting out of bed. If you find yourself struggling in your day to day life, it might be good to speak to a professional.

Aches and pains

While researching for this post, I came across this symptom that I wasn’t aware of.
Muscle aches can be an indicator of psychological distress. While research in this area is limited, there have been some recent studies suggesting a direct link between muscle ache and depression. Click here, here and here for more information. Obviously muscle aches can be the result of a number of different ailments, but keep an eye on any other symptoms that may present.

Can’t make up your mind

Having trouble making the simplest of decisions? It could be fear of making the wrong one, it could be low self-esteem. It could be depression. Depression can cause cognitive impairments such as an effect on decision making and memory. There has been a lot of research looking into this, I feel like I have linked a lot of articles in this blog, so I would really encourage you to go out and do some more research.

You find yourself up at night

You often here tales of people that stay in bed all day with the curtains closed, which can happen. However, insomnia and trouble getting to sleep/staying asleep can be a sign of depression. Bad quality sleep can lead to lack of concentration, irritability and lower cognitive functioning.

Your toilet habits have suddenly changed

Believe it or not, there is a well documented connection between mental health issues and digestive issues. See here, here and here. When it comes to depression, research suggests that constipation and abdominal pain are symptoms to be aware of.
Change in diet, medication, lifestyle change or stress can be factors that contribute to changes in the way your digestive system functions. Again, just keep an eye on it and if it persists, see your GP. Depression or not, it maybe an indicator of other health issues.

You find yourself getting irritated over the little things

Do you find yourself getting angry at the smallest inconvenience? Are you becoming noticeably more irritable? Irritability and anger are commonly overlooked when it comes to depression. There are documented cases of people going years without getting a diagnosis, discussed here. One idea is based on Freud’s theory that depression is anger turned inwards, however other believe that this is a simplistic approach.
There are other conditions that cause people to be quick to anger, however if you find yourself in this position, I would advise speaking with someone. Unresolved maladaptive anger can develop into further issues.

So if you find yourself with any of these symptoms, it may be worth looking into. Depression or not, it might indicate underlying issues, so don’t tell yourself it’s nothing or make an excuse. You might find that a trip to the doctor can make everyday that little easier.