Today I should be coming home from Japan, but as you may have guessed I didn’t get to go. It made me think of how different things are in comparison to last year. This time in 2019 I was taking a year off from work, living off my savings and even though I felt like I had made some progress, I was still over-planning, I was still unable to get to Birmingham and was a 50/50 chance I would get on the plane for my first holiday abroad.

This year I am working, going out for meals, coming off of medication and before COVID hit, I was actually 100% excited to go back to Tokyo. The change in myself is huge. Before lockdown, I was sitting in Yo! Sushi with my partner eating spicy food after a brief meet up with friends. That is something I could have only dreamed of even four months before.

I have a job which I enjoy and look forward to, it’s only part-time but after two six-day weeks with dining out, babysitting and the gym sprinkled in, I have proven to myself that I am able to take on more. I have attended food festivals, dined out and spent more time in Birmingham. I honestly owe a lot to my holiday last year.

No, I’m not cured. These things do not come easy and some days I still need to mentally prepare myself to walk out the door. I am, however, a lot more confident, a lot happier and I just know I can do whatever I put my mind to. I would say to anyone who is afraid to take the next step, not just in Agoraphobia recovery but in anything. Do it carefully, do it sensibly and you will not regret the decision to just do it. It could change your life.

So what’s next for me?

Well, I am planning more time away and even a solo holiday, but that may be a little further in the future. I’m getting out more, I’m hoping to be more confident around food and I MIGHT even socialise but let’s not get hasty.