You may or may not have noticed that I haven’t been posting as much as I usually do, I have been quite busy with making cool stuff that will be released at some point this week. I have also been doing a bit of self-reflection, figuring out where I’m at in my life and where I want to be by the end of the year.
I’ve realised that I am actually a bit of a pessimist and overall I don’t think that helps my mindset or my mental health. So I have been doing my best to be more positive.
Now I’m going to completely contradict myself.
I know there are some people out there that wear their mental illness as a badge of pride and there’s nothing wrong with that. I however, see it as something that quite frankly ruined my life.
I don’t think there’s anything to be ashamed of by having a mental illness, I wouldn’t write this blog if I did. I just struggle to understand those who, if given the chance to push a button and get rid of theirs, wouldn’t do it.
I know that might be a bit controversial to some and I would love to hear your side of things if you are one of those people who wouldn’t push that button. I do think I have the right to be unhappy with my experience of mental illness and what it has done to my life, just as much as you have the right to your opinion and experience.
It has made me think though, going back to the whole optimism thing, that I should probably look at the positives of this experience.
So here I go:
I am stronger than I thought
I’m definitely not an adrenaline junkie, you aren’t going to catch me bungee jumping any time soon. I do think however, it takes a lot of courage to regularly push yourself out of your comfort zone and do things that terrify you.
Going outside or travelling might not seem scary to you, but I’m not scared of spiders. It’s just a matter of perspective.
It has given me a better understanding
Way before I had depression and Agoraphobia, I was studying to become a psychologist. It’s something I knew I wanted to do for a long time. I think having this experience enables me to better connect with others going through the same thing.
You can explain to someone what you are going through, but they are never going to understand you on a level that someone else experiencing something similar will. That’s why when I do eventually go back into academia and crack on with my life, I feel like I will do so with a greater understanding and appreciation of the struggles.
It gives me motivation to be the best version of myself
I am constantly pushing myself to go out and do more things that I wouldn’t usually do and with this comes motivation to be a better person overall. I am pushing to get to my ideal weight. I am pushing to help as many people as I can. I am pushing to be happy and balanced. I am pushing for this blog to do well and I am pushing to get to where I ultimately want to be in life. I don’t think that I would have that much drive if I would have just continued with my life the way it was before.
I have met some amazing people
I have spoken with people both with and without a platform that are speaking out and supporting others in the community. People that inspire me to do as much as I can to help. I think I would have just stuck to the clinical side of things otherwise and missed out on a lot of cool people.
So that’s it. Not one of my most positive (ironically) and helpful posts, but something that I have been thinking about a lot recently.
Don’t worry, I’m alright. I think a bit of self-reflection is a good thing, it helps us grow.
It’s one step closer to self-acceptance and self-improvement.
Life With A 