I know, I know. I’m definitely late to this show. But given the topic of my last post, I thought it would be a good time to review this.
Spoiler warning! If you plan on watching this and don’t want it to be spoiled for you, I would recommend whacking on Netflix and giving it a watch before you read this. There are only 6 episodes and I got through it in one evening.
I thought I was going to watch this an offer my honest thoughts and feelings episode by episode writing as I watched. However after writing it, I decided that I would sleep on it as it was quite an emotional rollercoaster and that I would sleep on it to give a bit more of a clear headed perspective.
So the plot basics, we meet Tony, a guy who has lost his wife during the year to cancer. He has a father who has alzheimer’s, a job he finds unfulfilling and a dog that continuously stops him from killing himself. She also happens to be the cutest dog on the planet. The series covers his life over what looks like a month or so and how he deals with his grief.
The Pros…
I laughed, I cried, like I said it was a rollercoaster of emotion. The situation in general was very similar to what we as a family were going through at the time, so it definitely struck a chord.
The show offers a very unique perspective on grief. Unlike in films where they lay about on the settee eating ice cream and finding the perfect partner at the end, in a way romanticizing it. We are looking at a man who has been through the initial stage of shock and denial and is pining, angry and depressed. It offers a real look into the symptoms of grief and the aftermath of losing someone very close to you in an honest and unapologetic way.
My absolute favourite parts were where Tony is dealing with people in his everyday life that know his situation but can’t relate and he seems so isolated. Then out of nowhere, he has little moments with people who understand and the connection is so bittersweet and raw. For example, when he goes to the house to interview an old man who received 5 of the same card for this birthday. He initially is uninterested and thinks that this is a complete waste of his time. The old man then reveals that his wife has died and that it’s funny little stories like this he wants to tell her and then remembers that she is no longer there. But little things like getting these 5 cards that just make his day a little brighter.
We also get into the darker side of grief. Julian is a homeless drug user that Tony decides to buy heroin from to escape his reality. Tony states that there’s no point in worrying about it as there is nothing to live for, if it gets bad he can always kill himself. As we get further into the series, it is revealed that Julian lost his girlfriend to a drug overdose and this is how he gets through the day, telling Tony that if he had the money he would buy as many drugs as he could and overdose. Tony gives him the money and Julian kills himself. It shows that grief can lead to difficult, mal-adaptive coping behaviours. Without a support network and ways to properly cope with the loss, he lives a life trying to numb the pain and ultimately dies sad and alone.
The whole show has different people coping with loss in different ways, such as the lovely lady, Anne who sits on the bench and chats to her husband’s grave. She teaches him that life isn’t all about him and that making other people happy can ultimately make him happy. There is also a moment in which she says that she loves her husband so much that she would rather she be without him than he be without her. The friendship he builds with her is definitely my favourite.
The theme of depression is also prominent throughout the series. I thought it was very well written and acted. The unwashed dishes, the messy house, the suicidal intent, the anger. I especially liked the bit where he has no dishes and no milk so he just drank watery cereal. For me, it did not portray depression in this romanticised way that is common in today’s society. It was a very real, very uncensored take.
All the characters are really well written and they play an important role on the pathway through grief. I won’t go on about all the bits I loved, but know that it was the majority of the series.
The Cons…
While I did enjoy this show, there were a few things that I personally didn’t gel with.
The ending in which he gets a bike for the kid who he threatened was a little cheesy for my taste, I didn’t really think it was needed, but again just my personal opinion.
Also the psychiatrist he was seeing rubbed me the wrong way. While yes, I did find their interaction funny, I think it was a bad representation of an already fairly stigmatised treatment path. Maybe I am approaching this as a psychology grad, maybe I’m being too serious about this, but instead of ending where it turns out the psychiatrist has been enabling him to find his own path, it just ends where he decides he no longer needs to go anymore and offers a better insight than as to how he should cope and why. Not everyone needs professional help, but I think indicating that it is unhelpful isn’t the best way to approach this.
Another issue I had was the scenes where Tony is smoking heroin. The drug taking thing does not bother me at all and like I said earlier it shows the darker side of grief and coping with depression. My issue is that it was heroin, one of the most addictive drugs out there. A one hit and you’re hooked kinda deal. It seemed that even after taking heroin twice, there was no consequences and I feel like it was kind of treated like weed. Now there will be a second season, so maybe this will look at the drug addiction thing, but they have already broached this subject with Julian, so guess we will have to wait and see.
Linking to this and as I mentioned in part of the pros section, Tony has developed a kind of friendship with his drug dealer and eventually gives him the money he needs to overdose. I don’t feel like there is much of a reaction. While I think he feels that he had done the right thing because he knows what the dealer is feeling, there is no remorse even after he finds his own path through grief and he just carries on like he hasn’t just committed manslaughter. I kind of get it, but at the same time I think it was kinda swept under the carpet a little bit. Again though, there is a season 2, so maybe it will build on this.
One of the main issues for me is that although it was a great show, it did feel like the whole process was rushed. From multiple almost suicide attempts, anger and stating that the only thing that could make him happy is having his wife back, to going out for a drink with someone and moving into acceptance within a couple of episodes. It did feel a little rushed for me, but that might not have been the case for everyone. They did show the struggle and they did it very well, but I feel one like one minute he was going to drown himself in the sea and taking heroin and the next minute he is buying bikes for kids and asking people for drinks.
Final Verdict…
There were a few reviews I was looking at when writing this post that said that it was unrealistic and said “so he thinks it’s okay to treat people like crap just because he has lost someone? I switched off” And I have to say, I completely disagree with them. As mentioned in my previous post, grief is a very personal thing and the show really reflects the anger, the frustration, the wanting to be left alone and the maladaptive behaviours that can come with losing someone. I feel like maybe if you haven’t experienced loss like this, you might not get as much out of it. I would definitely give this one a watch though. While it may not be perfect and maybe a little rushed, it is not afraid to tackle very real topics and do them justice, while injecting Ricky’s dry and sarcastic humour.
Overall, I would give this show a 8/10 and can’t wait for the second season.
Life With A 